Stale

These few weeks, from what I see, Hoo shown no interests in everythings and even weekends, he would prefer to stay home. Of cos I know he's tired of his work & lack of sleep after he was posted to this job + he gonna continue with his one year study! But somehow or rather, he hardly call/msg me etc.. The behaviours was just like a stranger... At first, I just take it as he's frustrated with work & damn tired.. But it just not right after, days by days, weeks by weeks.. I am thinking what happen? Or what had happened? If not knowing of his busy schedule, I will think there's a 3rd party kinda of thing. HaHa..

Me too, pissed with my work & wanna quit to look for new career etc.. Weekdays are a torture to me cos been dragging myself to work because of $$ and not for interests! Hence, have been looking forward for weekends at least, can relax, meet Hoo, go movie etc. Last Sat, meet Hoo in the afternoon, he wanna get contact lens from David so we proceed to Queenway & Ikea for hotdog bun after that. He's man of few words and now even worst. He seen more quiet! The next day he went for his soccer and I went acupuncture. I had my lunch at Nex and Hoo never call or said wanna meet up, so I just went straight home. Bro and family intended to go JB so they asked me along & I agreed since I have nothing to do too.

Another whole week of struggling at work with boss around. At last, Friday again, this time Hoo msg me asking can he go for mahjong after work to distress himself. Quite sad as first cos I felt that I'm not longer a priority to him & meeting those tiles are more impt after never see each other for a week.. And of cos, I let him go, thinking he really need a break after weeks of stressful work. Next day, he asked me go collect "bak gua" with him at Chinatown and then went to my place for early lunar steamboat! After dinner, they played mahjong till morning. And he had to go to pay respect to his dad that morning with his family. As for myself, I need to meet Kelvin with bro & Yuki for our insurance policies. Hence, I did not go with Hoo. But Hoo msgs me to join them for "dian sim" at SGCC Yum Cha. He came to fetch me from my place and we never talk in the car. When we reached, he walks into the restaurant without waiting for me etc.. Weird isn't it? He don't behave such a way in the pasts lor. During our lunch, we did not really talk too. After lunch, he drops me at Nex for my acupuncture & headed home to sleep as he claimed. Sensing my anger, he whatapp asking me what am I angry about?

There we go, after weeks of silence and feeling somethings not right with us. We finally have some talks in whatapps yesterday afternoon and night! He wants us to have a good thoughts about us & be sure etc..  He did not elaborate much but more or less I can sense he wants to give up on us as the way he puts it but just that he did not get it straight across! He said he might having depression on works. Need some times to sort his thoughts etc.

I think he might pen down his feels in his blog rather than tell me straight. So I check out his blog this morning and yes, it was written last night by him. Anyway, feel feel to click into his blog to read if interested to know?

Hoo needs someone who cares, love him alot & generous of cos. And I can't fit in the bill as a self centered me who only love/cares myself more than others. I can even stingy to myself at times, so how u expect me to be generous to others? Don't tell me those craps $$ is not everythgs lah.. This realistic world, no $ = no talk! Everything is $ ok!! From young, I always feel $ is important to all. Have u ever beg your relatives for help in hospitalisation/nursing home fee monthly & have to see their suckers' face + bad mouthing? Not one time ok! It's monthly, X 12+ (a year +) at least! Have u either need $ so badly that u have to sell your home hair dryer to salon for that $20!! WTF.. And yes, my mum did all that when my dad was in coma for a year! She was not working eversince after married and that was those typical housewife without a job/ savings after getting married at that "ancient" times. And both my bro & myself still schooling lor, can't help out at all! Mum tried to work for 2 months but some conflicts with colleagues / not used to working environment etc .. She quitted ever since. I think she has been at home for too many years and can't adapt to outside world !

After dad passed away, grandma they all took all dad's insurance $ which bought under company name + condolences $. See here, we as immediate family got nothing except his CPF return of 30k when one died during that time. Latest update is 46k for all Singaporean now.

Sometimes, I was thinking if anything is to happen to me one day, I got no one to depend on, let alone my family! They have never even cross my mind at all! With my dearest bro still owe me a total add up sum of 30k more than 2 decades! And I'm pretty sure he will return me + alot alot more and interests, only when I died!! Anyway, all I can said is I'm not extremely stingy to Hoo. If not, I won't even help to clear his dad's medical bill issue and that's not small amount lor.. So, whatever decision u going to make, dun forget to return me my damn impt $$$ !